move on
by Orca-san
Summary: AU. No one said it was easy to move on after the death of the beloved one. And Kuroko had foreseen it. But with the conflicts and emotions kept spiraling his live downward, no one had warned him it would be so hard. KiKuro, AoKaga as BROTP, and later AkaKuro.


**Pairing(s):** KiKuro, AoKaga (bros), MuraHimu (mentioned), & AkaKuro (later).

**Warning(s): **Yaoi, major character death, errors.

**Disclaimer:** Kuroko no Basuke and any reference used in this fanfic belong to their respective owner.

* * *

Beeping sound of alarm clock jolted Kuroko out of his shallow slumber. His arm stretched out to shut the damn thing off, but it ended up knocking the clock down instead. The clock landed on the floor with a loud thud.

Kuroko groaned under his breath. He hauled himself up to check on the gadget given by his loved one.

Broken.

So badly.

Kuroko let his slender body slump back to the bed with his stretched arm dangling over the bed, as if reaching out to the broken clock. His fingers ran along the clock. The golden ring twining around his finger shimmered in weak morning light. Kuroko allowed the bittersweet feelings to rush through him, sweet memories stirred up in his mind, pictures of them in bed, his husband—his _late_ husband smiling down softly at him while staring into his blue eyes with his golden ones.

Surprisingly, the green number flicked to another minute, indicating it still functioning well. Kuroko stared at it for another minute, watching it turn to another digit, to two digits, and then suddenly, he felt the urge to laugh.

The digital clock, the lifeless object, was proved stronger than the one who had bought and given it to him.

Kuroko curled up under the thick blanket. He shouldn't think about it. He shouldn't bring back those memories. Now he couldn't stop the onslaught of sadness that rushed over him. He shrunk deeper into his cocoon, damp of warm tears threatening to break.

"Papa?"

Wave of sadness remained stuck in his chest at the tiny voice. Kuroko pulled the blanket down to take a look at the door. In the doorway, there stood a 7-years-old crimson-black layered haired kid in tiger pattern pajama, one hand clutching a huge tiger plush toy, staring at him with those big crimson eyes.

"Papa?" the kid called out again.

"Taiga-kun," Kuroko breathed out. "What's wrong, dear?"

"I heard something crash. Papa okay?"

Kuroko heaved a sigh. His son (adopted a year before) was such an angel. Even a slightest sound had him prompted a great reaction. Kuroko patted the bed, gesturing his son to come over. His son looked in a dither at first, but after Kuroko had given him an assuring smile, he pattered to the bed, the plush toy trailing behind him. Kuroko helped his son climb the bed and settle the plush toy between them, then blanketed his son in his embrace.

"Where's your brother?" Kuroko asked his son.

"Daiki?" his son looked up at him. "Daiki said he wants to sleep more. He said he's tired."

He frowned at his son's answer. Kuroko remembered Daiki-kun (also adopted, years before Taiga-kun) needed to be watched all the times. He might become a troublemaker without constant watch. Kuroko sighed into the lock of unruly crimson hair.

"Shouldn't he be at school by now?"

Taiga-kun didn't answer right away. Instead, he looked up at him with confused eyes.

"Papa, today is Sunday."

Kuroko raised a brow. "...really?"

The grip of small fingers around his arm tightened. "Papa okay?"

He buried his face in the lock of unruly crimson, holding his adopted son very close to his chest. He didn't know how, but he was sure his ears picked up another flick of the digital clock.

Time was crawling forward, he knew that.

But, he remained at the same time. The moment when his husband died. And he knew that too.

"I... don't know, Taiga-kun..."

...

That evening, a voice mail echoed through his living room.

_"Good evening, Kuroko Tetsuya. I'm Akashi Seijurou, your new editor and Shintarou has told me about your husband. I can imagine your feelings now, and you have my condolences, but I must remind you the deadline is approaching... I wish you a good day and hope to hear from you again as soon as possible."_

The answering machine beeped loudly again, its sound grating in his ears.

Kuroko was sitting on the sofa with folded-up knees, fingers curling around the cold mug he'd been holding for hours?—he had no idea for how long actually. His blank blue eyes were glued on the blank page of Microsoft Words, that thing that produced words (he'd forgotten what the name of that thing was; his brain refused to work) kept blinking, blinking, and blinking on the white page.

His laptop hummed again, but it didn't help him trigger the engine at all.

He threw his head back, resting it on the back of sofa, then stared ahead at the dark ceiling.

The truth was Kuroko had forgotten how to write again.

* * *

Kuroko was flicking through the colorful papers at the dinner table. Nice colors, but that wasn't what he needed now. Bills from last month, advertisement papers, condolence letters from his family, from his late husband's family cluttered on the table, some of them had a streak of coffee he'd accidentally spilled on it while trying to sort them into a neat pile (in the end, it was still messy).

"Hey."

Followed by a sound of rattling chair and a 14-years-old tanned boy sitting across him.

"Daiki-kun," he acknowledged the boy's presence without sparing him a glance.

Daiki-kun rubbed the back of his neck, then rubbed his hands together, seemed to be nervous, or reluctant, Kuroko wished he knew which one. Then, Daiki-kun cleared his throat. "Tomorrow... got match. You... coming?"

"I'm not sure, Daiki-kun. I have an appointment," his eyes were still fixated on the paper. He read the number. Not good.

"Can...can you postpone it or... I mean, even 5 minutes should be enough—"

"I can ask Midorima-kun or Murasakibara-kun to go with your brother to watch your match," Kuroko was still reading the paper, his fingers punching the calculator buttons with loud clacks.

A sullen silence befell them before his son broke it. "That won't be necessary," then, Kuroko heard a sigh. His son spoke again. "No dinner again tonight?"

"I'll order ramen—"

"I'll do it myself," his son cut in.

Kuroko shot him a look, to which his son returned it with an impassive look, sharp midnight eyes piercing into his. _Unreadable_, to Kuroko's dismay. He noticed his son began to drum his fingers on the table, as if trying to decipher his mind, but no, Kuroko wasn't going to let his son read through his conflicted feelings.

He mustn't look weak in front of his son.

He brought his attention back to the paper. "Well, if you're going to order it, why don't you ask your little brother too? He must be hungry—"

Kuroko was once again cut off by the sudden movement of his son rousing from the chair. Daiki-kun walked past him towards the stairs.

"I'm not going to order for him. And he's not my brother."

Kuroko angled his body to his son at the stairs. "Daiki-kun, we've had this discussion—"

"No means no!" he shouted in the distance.

In the end, Kuroko could only watched his stubborn son climb up the stairs, give the crimson haired kid, who happened to walk by, a disgusting look, and disappear. The crimson haired kid brought his plush toy up to his face, then ran back upstairs. Kuroko heard two doors slam shut. He buried his face in his hands. The wedding band felt so cold against his skin.

His prayer was muffled by his own hands. "Ryouta-kun, I don't know what to do... help me..."

...

He stood in front Daiki-kun's room, dropping his gaze on his feet, hand in midway to knock on the door. Kuroko knew his son was still awake, noticing a ray of light slipping under the door. He bit his bottom lip as he summoned any bravery residing inside him.

At last, a light knock.

"Daiki-kun, about the match..." he hesitated. "What time again?"

No answer.

"Daiki-kun?"

Still no answer.

He repeated his question again, once, twice, thrice until his throat dried up. Daiki-kun hadn't answered any of them. Kuroko rested his forehead against the door, desperation swamped him. With a cracked voice, he said; "You know I love you, right?"

Still no answer.

Kuroko sniffled. He stayed in that position even though his legs were tired from standing for too long. He stayed, stayed, stayed for one minute, for two minutes, for another few minutes until Taiga-kun's voice snapped him back to his senses.

He quickly wiped his tears with the back of his hand and faced the kid. Taiga-kun still had his plush toy in his arms. Kuroko smiled bitterly, knowing it was the first and last gift from Ryouta-kun for him.

"Papa okay?"

Kuroko realized this little one asked this question a lot lately. He deemed it must have reflected vividly in his face that even a young kid like Taiga-kun felt obligated to ask such a question before initiating a conversation.

He crouched down to level his gaze with his son's. He ruffled the crimson hair. "Yes, Taiga-kun. I'm fine."

"Daiki?"

He was silent at first. "He's... fine too. A little tired, but fine. Don't worry about him, okay?"

Taiga-kun nodded numbly. Then, he began again. "Papa, does Daiki hate me?"

That struck Kuroko hard. He chewed on his inner cheek. With a small shake of head, Kuroko forced a smile. "No, he doesn't hate you, Taiga-kun. He loves you."

"Then, why he gives me a scary look?"

Kuroko scooped him up into his embrace. "He's just tired and sad. Give him some time okay?" a lie came out smoothly between his teeth. Kuroko carried his son to his bedroom, patting his back.

He felt the small fingers latch onto his shirt.

"Okay," was Taiga-kun's muffled answer.

* * *

He dreamed of his husband one morning.

Soft sunlight bathed the golden hair that spilled messily on the white pillow. The muscles flexed smoothly as the hand stretched out to caress his cheek. Kuroko savored the feeling of warm thumb pressing into his skin. Half of his husband's godly handsome features buried hidden in the fluffy pillow, one honey colored eye cracked open, gazing deeply into his blue ones.

Then, those sinfully beautiful lips curled into a smile.

_"Morning," _his husband whispered.

A sob caught in Kuroko's throat. He captured his husband's hand in his. _"Ryouta-kun… I miss you so much…"_

_"I know,"_ his husband sunk his hand into Kuroko's messy light blue lock. Kuroko leaned into the touch he'd missed so much, yearning for more.

_"I can't do this anymore, Ryouta-kun,"_ he whimpered. _"Come back," _Kuroko begged in wobbly voice. His throat closed up. _"Come back to us. Come back to me," _a tear spilled onto the pillow.

_"You know I can't do that."_

_"Then, take me with you," _his grip on his husband's hand grew stronger. _"Let me come with you."_

_"No, you can't come with me."_

_"Why?! Why not?!" _he began to trash around, punching at his husband's broad chest repeatedly, weakly._ "I'm yours, and you're mine! Why can't we be together?! I miss you, I miss you so much!"_

His husband embraced him to calm his down.

_"I miss you so much that it hurts me…"_ he sobbed in his husband's arms.

_"I know," _his husband breathed out into his light blue locks. _"It hurts me too, but we had our time together, remember? You've completed my world, and I've completed yours. It's time for you to complete our children's world. They need you more than you need me."_

He shook his head. _"No, no… Please, don't go! Ryouta—"_

_"Be strong,"_ his husband smiled. _"For them…"_

Those words dragged Kuroko back to realm of reality. He whirled to his side with thundering heart.

Cold and empty.

Grief clouded his mind again. Kuroko hugged the cold pillow, and sobbed into it for the rest of the day.

* * *

The answering machine beeped again. But this time it was a feminine voice.

_"Good morning, Kuroko Tetsuya-san. I'm Momoi Satsuki from the company insurance. We would like to inform you that your car insurance has been..."_

The voice kept talking, but Kuroko didn't listen to her. Indeed, he was well aware of what she talking about. It was the car, the one that had involved into a tragic accident two months ago. The one that had robbed away his husband's life.

_His_ life.

The voice spouted more and more financial words Kuroko didn't bother to ask for clarification. Instead, he pressed button 'x' on the keyboard of his laptop, and watched vacantly as word 'x' filled the blank page of the Microsoft Word.

At the sixth page, the answering machine stopped.

He, too.

He peered closer at the page. Those continuous 'xxx' reminded him of kissing sign. Kuroko's face crumpled up. He remembered his husband loved to use it as the signature of his love note he'd often left on the table every morning before off to work.

Now, no more love notes or 'xxx' from his husband.

Just continuous 'xxx' on the screen he'd accidentally written himself.

Kuroko whimpered.

* * *

Midorima-kun appeared in front of his door unannounced one afternoon.

The green haired man gave him his published book and a pot of bonsai plant as his lucky item. Kuroko thanked him for both of them and invited him for a tea. Midorima-kun's eyes drank in every details of the house. Behind those thick glasses, Kuroko knew his former editor was judging his state.

Kuroko brought a tray of tea and joined Midorima-kun sitting on the sofa. He pushed off all those cluttered papers on the table and placed the tray on it. "How are you?" he initiated a conversation.

"I'm fine. Annoying press and public, demanding for stupid answers they've known since ages, yet still asking about it. But, I'll live," Midorima-kun answered in annoyed tone, but definitely not directed to him, Kuroko knew that. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," his hands were busy setting the cup for his former editor.

"And how exactly are you going to define 'fine'?" Midorima-kun leaned into the sofa. "From what I've seen, and I am looking at, you're too far away from fine," he jerked his chin to the messy table. "So, I'm going to repeat my question again; how are you?"

Kuroko smiled bitterly. "You're still good at reading people. Should've become a doctor instead of editor."

"You know damn well how I ended up in this field. But we're not talking about me this time. Now, answer my question; how are you?"

He didn't answer right away. He took time, very long time to answer his question. Mouth opened. A breathy confession came.

"I... don't know... Barely hanging, I guess. It's been almost three months Ryouta-kun has left us, but I still can see him everywhere. Every step I take lead to him. I don't know, Midorima-kun. Sometimes I blame the fate for taking him away from us, but sometimes, I blame him for leaving us. It's just not fair. We still need him. Taiga-kun barely has a taste of having a family, then he's suddenly gone. We didn't prepare for this!"

"No one did, Kuroko. No one asked for it. Not you. Neither Kise. We know that. _You_ know that."

"But, I still need him!"

Midorima-kun heaved a sigh. There was a silence before he added. "You can take your time as much as you want to cling to the past. But remember, you have two kids who need you. They need you, your attention, and money for their life too. You should know money doesn't come falling into your laps. Always keep on writing."

Kuroko dragged the heel of his palm over his face to shake off the tiredness sweeping through his body, but it was fruitless. It'd always been. Kuroko huffed into his palm.

"I'll do what I can."

Truthfully, Kuroko had no idea what he could do in his current state.

* * *

"What Daiki-kun has done this time?" Kuroko asked the principal. His blank eyes drifted over the nametag tugged on the principal's shirt; Hyuuga Junpei.

He heard Daiki-kun click his tongue behind him, but Kuroko let it slide this time. He barely glazed back at his son, who was sitting in the corner of the office, slumped against a chair. Kuroko swiveled his attention back to the principal.

The principal pushed the spectacles up. "He punched his classmate and used inappropriate language."

"He punched his friend?" Kuroko gasped, and Daiki-kun was shouting 'he's not my friend!' in the background. "How's he now? Is he okay?"

"That kid, Haizaki-kun, is fine. Broken nose, but fine," the principal reclined on his boss chair. "Fortunate for your son, Haizaki-kun's parents decided to let it slide this time."

Kuroko let out a sigh. "Thank goodness."

"However, we have to let you know that we're suspending your son for 3 days," said the principal in a firm tone.

He gave the principal a small nod assent. "I understand. I profusely apologize for what Daiki-kun has done," Kuroko bowed a little. "We're taking our leave now," he pushed the chair backward and shuffled back towards the door after muttering a thank you under his breath.

Closing the door behind him after allowing Daiki-kun to traipse past the door, Kuroko gave out a long breath. He threw a quick glance at his son. "Young man, we need to talk later."

"No, we don't," Daiki-kun replied coldly, resuming his walking.

"Yes, we definitely need one, and that's the final."

...

At home, they didn't talk.

Instead, they yelled at each other until Daiki-kun got fed up and slammed the door in his face. Then, Kuroko found Taiga-kun hiding under his bed with his plush toy and hands covering his ears.

* * *

Milk, eggs, cereals...

He skimmed through the shopping list for umpteenth times. No matter how many times Kuroko had read through the list, it seemed they couldn't stick to his memory. He pushed the cart forward, felt slightly heavy as Taiga-kun was standing inside the cart with his plush toy.

"Please, Taiga-kun, you can walk, can't you?"

Taiga-kun shook his head. "Don't want. Lazy."

"You lazy kid," he ruffled Taiga-kun's hair playfully, earning him a light fit of laugher from the little one.

"Excuse me, are you Kuroko Tetsuya?" a calm deep voice cut the light atmosphere, having them turning their heads to a man with scarlet hair and a pair of unusual heterochromatic eyes, amber and scarlet.

"Do I have to answer your question?" Kuroko asked the stranger as he took in the stranger's profile.

Casual V-neck black t-shirt hugged his slightly muscular body. Its long sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbow, revealing his pale arms. Blue light jeans. Nice shoes. Kuroko raised a brow at that. The air about him screamed confidence and elegance.

"I'm Akashi Seijurou, your new editor," he answered. "And I believe my simple introduction should be sufficed to answer your question," the stranger named Akashi Seijurou stretched out his hand for a handshake.

Kuroko looked at the outstretched hand, then at the heterochromatic eyes, then at Taiga-kun's confused crimson eyes, back at the heterochromatic eyes again. His hands stayed at the cart handle, though.

"If you come here to talk about my writing, then I have nothing to talk to you."

Akashi brought his hand back to his side. "No, our meeting today is merely a coincidence. And I thought it was a good opportunity for me to introduce myself."

"Then, we shall make this meeting as a real coincidence and pretend as if it never happens," Kuroko pushed the cart off, effectively ending their meeting.

Or so he thought. Akashi raised his voice a little behind him so he could hear him. "I hope we could meet each other again. Working, or just to have a chat, if you don't mind."

Kuroko almost smiled at Akashi's offer. Small chat; his late husband used to chatter away a lot. And Kuroko had enjoyed them so much. The way he'd delivered his stories, the way he'd rhapsodized over small things, stupid things, nothings.

His soft smile morphed into a bitter one, but Kuroko quickly shoved those memories away as not to let his son see his face. He walked towards the frozen food department. That's when Taiga-kun asked him a question.

"Papa, why aren't you writing a story again?" he was holding a box of ice-cream.

Kuroko hummed thoughtfully. "I'm taking a break, Taiga-kun."

"You'll start writing again?"

"I'm not sure."

"Hm..." Taiga-kun's gaze fell on the box in his hands. "Then, if you start writing again, tell me the story, 'kay?"

Kuroko picked up another box of ice-cream; vanilla flavored. His fingers felt numb when the icy air clawed at his skin. "You know I'm not a great story teller."

"Yeah, I know. Dad used to read me bedtime stories, but now he's not here anymore, and Daiki won't tell me a story. So, you the only one I have now."

That halted him. Taiga-kun's tone was casual, like he was talking about food, or toys. But his words shouted loneliness. A feeling no kid should know about, yet Taiga-kun was experiencing it without him realizing it.

He thinned his lips. Kuroko reached out to his son and planted a kiss on the crimson hair.

"I'll tell you a bedtime story tonight."

* * *

The kitchen was in a mess, but he couldn't care less about it.

Kuroko chucked the cereal box into the sink, then dashed to the refrigerator to grab the milk. Empty. _Shit, _andhe'd just bought it last week. He chucked it too into the sink, took the glass and poured a juice to pass it to Taiga-kun, who was sitting (amazingly) quiet on the dinner chair, playing with his breakfast. Kuroko proceeded to prepare a sandwich; swiped peanut butter on a piece of bread, placed few slices of tomato, then salad, and slid the plate to his 14-years-old son.

Daiki-kun eyed the plate with an impassive look, then pushed it away.

"Daiki-kun, please eat your sandwich," annoyance hinted in Kuroko's calm voice.

Daiki-kun shrugged. "Last time I check, peanut butter wasn't in the list of ingredients to make a sandwich."

Hit the bull's eye, but Kuroko had no intention to admit his mistake. Exasperation, sadness, and his pride as _the_ adult one here had consumed him. He placed his palms on the table to support his weight, and intimidate his stubborn son. "Just eat your breakfast, okay?"

"With peanut butter and tomato? No thanks," Daiki-kun picked up the bag resting on the chair next to him and slung it over his shoulder. "I'd rather die of starvation than eat that thing," his tone was sharp, as if he was talking about something so disgusting.

Kuroko snapped. "Do not talk about dying so casually!" he thumped the table, ceasing both his sons' movements. He watched in fury as his son slowly turned to face him again with a stern look. "Don't talk like it's the most natural thing in this world!"

"It is natural!" Daiki-kun shouted. "Living, dying! Part of your life, part of my life, our life!" then, he threw his arms in the air exasperatedly. "Oh, after Dad's death, now it's become a taboo topic?! Wow! Splendid!"

"Can you please not be so difficult?!"

"Can _you_?!"

That silenced him. Kuroko remained dumbfounded on his spot, eyes spotting his son was breathing raggedly. He could feel a tug on his sleeve, yet he couldn't react to it. All his senses were focused on Daiki-kun, and Daiki-kun only.

"Since Dad's death, you are walking like a zombie! I tried to talk to you, but you didn't listen to me! You wake up late, and sometimes lock yourself in your bedroom. You don't talk to me! You stop talking to me! I fucking know you loved Dad, me too, but I _am _here! Alive! Still talking! Still listening! Not a fucking zombie!"

A tiny voice interrupted. "Daiki, Papa still—"

"You shut up!" Daiki-kun whipped to the 7-years-old kid. "I wasn't talking to you!"

"But—"

"I said shut the fuck up, didn't I?!"

Daiki-kun's loud scream thundered through the double-story house. Kuroko could see absolute hatred blazing in Daiki-kun's midnight eyes. _Why?_ he asked himself, why did he hate his brother so much? Kuroko looped his arm around Taiga-kun's head and hugged him. He could feel his son trembling in his arms, small arms that wrapping around his waist shaking.

Daiki-kun scratched his short navy hair exasperatedly and huffed out a breath. "You know what? I'm late," he harshly snatched the orange ball on the floor. "I'm going to school now, and when I come back, I don't want to see that kid. Final, bye. And by the way, the cereal box and milk are supposed to be in the bin, not in the sink."

Just like that, Daiki-kun bolted out of the house, rendering them trapped in the heavy atmosphere.

Kuroko lifted Taiga-kun up sitting on the table. He studied his small face closely. Taiga-kun looked almost tearing up, crimson eyes dropping low on his laps. Kuroko placed a kiss on Taiga-kun's forehead. "Hey, Taiga-kun, you know your brother didn't mean it, right?" he looked into the glassy crimson eyes.

Taiga-kun kept his gaze on his thighs.

"He's just tired."

Taiga-kun refused to look up.

He let out a whistling breath, and resolved to embrace the kid. He felt warm liquid wet his shirt and the small frame heave inside his arms, but Kuroko couldn't utter a word to soothe his whimpering son.

Because inside, Kuroko was crying too.

...

Daiki-kun made his entrance with a loud bang of the door that evening. It almost had Kuroko jumping in his seat, but he managed to keep his face steady. He calmed his thundering heart before began.

"Daiki-kun."

The boy seemed to be shocked, whirling around to him almost immediately. Then, the shocked look molded into a challenging look, body straightened up. His son could appear intimidating if he wanted to. Kuroko fought down the fear creeping up his neck and slowly got to his feet.

"We need to talk, Daiki-kun," Kuroko started again.

"What? What to talk about? Nothing!" Daiki-kun's voice was laced with annoyance.

"About your brother."

That seemed to spark Daiki-kun's anger. "He is _not_ my brother!"

"Why?!" Kuroko raised his tone to another octave. "What did he do to you to earn such a deep hatred from you?! What you want him to do?! What you want _me_ to do so you can accept him?!"

He didn't let his son answer yet. His voice was picking up and picking up. "I've tried so many things so you can see him as brother! I want you to accept him! That's all what I ask from you! I've endured so many things from you! Your cold treatment! Your language! Your homeroom teacher keeps complaining about you! Your coach told me you're starting to skip your practice! You didn't do your homework! But I keep them to myself! I didn't punish you for them! What else you want me to do, Daiki-kun?!"

"Listen to me! Listen to my voice!" a loud scream blasted through Daiki-kun's lungs.

Kuroko stayed frozen on his spot. For a moment, a sullen silence stretched out between them, occasionally ripped by Daiki-kun's ragged breath.

Daiki-kun took a deep breath. He scratched the back of his head, gaze dropping on the floor. "You've stopped talking to me. You've stopped listening to me," then, he turned on his heels, stomping towards the stairs.

Kuroko roused from his stupor. He shouted; "You can talk to me if you want to!"

But, his son had long ignored him.

* * *

When Kuroko prayed for the time to clear their dark days, gods didn't answer his prayer.

It became worst instead.

Kuroko sprung to his feet from the sofa when he heard a loud scream erupt from upstairs. He sprinted up the stairs to Daiki-kun's room while inside praying for his son's safety. Upon arriving at the room, he saw a nightmare.

A crying Taiga-kun was pinned down in bed by furious Daiki-kun, tanned fist raised up high in the air.

A scream tore from Kuroko's lungs, and Kuroko was already on his move to leap to the bed, and used Daiki-kun's hesitancy to rescue the little one. Then, with Taiga-kun now was secured in his arms, Kuroko retreated back to the door.

"What the hell you're thinking you're doing, Daiki?!"

At this moment he didn't bother to add '-kun' anymore as anger had taken over his mind.

"Ask that bastard!" Daiki-kun pointed at the kid in Kuroko's arms.

"Mind your language!" Kuroko put down Taiga-kun on the floor, then slowly marched towards Daiki-kun. "Do not call your brother like that!"

"He's not my brother!"

"Daiki!"

"He's a monster! He destroyed everything what's mine! He drew on my book! He broke my stuff! He destroyed everything! Since he came here, our life wasn't like before! We keep yelling at each other! He makes you hate me! He pulls you to his side!" then, Daiki-kun spat out an ugly laugh. "Guess what? I think he was the one who killed Dad! Maybe he did something funny to the car, then the car crashed—"

Daiki-kun stopped talking.

He couldn't talk because Kuroko had landed a slap on his cheek with a loud pang.

For a moment, no one moved a muscle, including Kuroko himself. The sting began to settle into his palm. His blank blue eyes were wide as he stared at Daiki-kun, who now had his hand covering his red cheek.

Guilty, shock sliced through Kuroko. He moved to examine the cheek, but Daiki-kun shoved him away.

"Get out!" Daiki-kun yelled. "Get out of my fucking room! Get out!"

Knowing he couldn't do anything else to tone down his son's anger, Kuroko quickly scooped Taiga-kun up and scuttled off of Daiki-kun's room to Taiga-kun's room. He clumsily locked the door, a sniffle escaping him as he brought the little one to his bed. He gently laid the kid down on the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chest. Kuroko pressed a kiss to his son's forehead.

"You okay, Taiga-kun? You hurt?"

Taiga-kun shook his head despite the tears visibly streamed down his face.

"You sure?"

He nodded.

"Oh gods," Kuroko gave a long kiss on Taiga-kun's forehead. He hugged the little one. "You know your brother doesn't hate you, right? You know, right?"

There was reluctance from the kid, but he nodded nonetheless. The moment the kid gave a small nod, Kuroko knew he was a terrible father.

He just taught his 7-years-old son lying for his own sake.

The wedding band felt so tight around his finger it hurt him.

...

Going back to his own room, Kuroko threw himself to the bed, whimpering. He took the photo of his husband on the nightstand table and clutched it dearly to his chest. He sobbed.

"Ryouta-kun, I don't know what to do anymore... please, tell me what to do... please, I'm begging you... please..."

He continued pleading and pleading, to the picture, to the gods, to no one, until he fell asleep.

...

His sleep didn't last till morning. When the clock ticked nearly 3 a.m, he caught dim rustlings and voices speaking from the corridor. He rubbed his drowsy eyes, and slightly winced when he felt pain shoot up his body due to sleeping in an awkward position. Kuroko carefully padded across the room to the door.

Opening the door ajar, he found Taiga-kun standing in front of Daiki-kun's room with his plush toy, the light from the room splashing onto his small frame. Taiga-kun's lips were moving and then, there was a harsh reply. But, it didn't stop the little one. Taiga-kun stepped into the room while curses were flying out past him.

Kuroko bit his bottom lip. He was worried Daiki-kun might get violent again. So he sneaked out of the room, and stood near to the wall of Daiki-kun's room. He heard his children argue to each other.

"I'm sorry..." came a tiny voice.

"Just go away," even though Daiki-kun's voice had dropped, but Kuroko could hear exasperation tweaking between the line.

Kuroko peered into the room. He watched with pounding heart as Taiga-kun made his way over to Daiki-kun on the bed.

"I'm sorry, Daiki," the kid spoke again.

"Shut up and get lost," Daiki-kun hugged his folded-up knees, staring sharply at the little one.

"I'm sorry..."

This time, Daiki-kun buried his face in his knees. Words came out as muffled. "Shut up, get out. I hate you."

Instead of apology, another words left Taiga-kun's lips. "I love Daiki."

Kuroko's heart stopped beating for a moment, blue eyes widened in surprise at the earnest confession suddenly exploded out of Taiga-kun's mouth. Daiki-kun looked surprised too, but the look vanished as Daiki-kun hid his face again in his knees.

Nevertheless, Kuroko could see his 14-years-old son tremble.

"Go away, I hate you."

"I love Daiki," the little one moved towards the bed.

"I hate you."

"I love Daiki," another step forward.

"I hate you," his voice cracked.

"I love Daiki," the little one dropped his plush toy on the floor and climbed the bed.

"I hate you..." a sniffle was heard at the very last syllabus.

"I love Daiki," tiny hand reached out to caress the navy hair.

"I hate you, I hate you so much," his voice was tearful. "Why can't you just leave me alone like everyone else?! You took Dad away from me since you've arrived here. You took Papa. You took my life. They stopped looking at me since you're here. Then, you literally took away Dad's life. You destroyed everything in my life. What else you want to take?! Why can't you leave me alone?"

The little one didn't answer right away. He tried to hug the larger boy, even though it seemed useless because Daiki-kun was much larger than himself, but he did hug him.

The little one opened his mouth. Words came out smoothly.

"I love Daiki."

Just like that, Daiki-kun burst out his emotions. He captured Taiga-kun in his embrace and sobbed into the small shoulder uncontrollably. His mouth kept chanting 'sorry... sorry... sorry...' and 'I hate you...' but Kuroko knew they were lies. Yet Kuroko didn't bother to reprimand Daiki-kun. He knew Daiki-kun wasn't good at confessing his feelings.

He knew Taiga-kun knew this too.

...

That night, Kuroko didn't sleep.

He leaned against the wall in front of Daiki-kun's room, watching as Daiki-kun fell asleep in Taiga-kun's small arms. They both had peaceful face in their sleep, holding each other.

Then, it occurred to him.

Perhaps, Daiki-kun had been right all along. He didn't listen to his children. He stopped talking to his children. The drama he'd just witnessed hours ago had proved it. He needed Taiga-kun to take his own initiative to approach his brother to show him his methods were wrong.

What he needed was to wrench himself out of his solitude bubble and breach their walls. And he failed to do so.

Kuroko took a deep breath.

Guess he had to thank the little one for showing the answer he needed.

* * *

"Where are you going?"

A question from across the dinner table stole Kuroko's attention from stuffing a notebook into his duffel bag. Kuroko looked up at Daiki-kun with a tiny, but genuine smile.

The sight of Daiki-kun helping Taiga-kun with his breakfast brought happiness pouring over his heart. The sight wiped away the memories of Daiki-kun strangling the little one had occurred days ago from his mind.

"I'm going to meet my new editor," he answered.

Taiga-kun jumped in his seat, excitement sparkling in his crimson eyes. "Papa writes story?! With that weird-eyed guy?!"

"Careful," Daiki-kun pushed the bowl away from the little one's reach. Then, he turned to him with an inquiring look. "Who's this weird eyes guy?"

"He got weird eyes," Taiga-kun interrupted. "Handsome, too," he cooed.

That earned Kuroko a raising suspicious brow from Daiki-kun. He leaned closer to Taiga-kun. "Hey, you think Papa's gonna like this weird-eyed guy?"

"Dunno, but I think this weird-eyed guy likes Papa!"

"Hm... not good. We've gotta protect Papa, then."

"Protect Papa?"

"Yeah, can you imagine if this weird-eyed guy hurts Papa? Not good, right?"

Taiga-kun shook his head quickly. "No, not good at all! No one can hurt Papa!"

"Then, protect Papa we do."

"Protect Papa!"

Kuroko smiled down softly at his children. He went to them and planted kiss on their foreheads. "How am I going to meet my prince if these two childish knights are guarding me protectively?"

"He's a prince?!" Taiga-kun shouted.

"No, he's not," Daiki-kun denied. "He's a bad guy."

"But, Papa said he's a prince."

Light chuckles slipped past Kuroko's lips as he continued listening to his children's squabbles. After wading through torturous months, finally Kuroko could see light poking over the dark horizon.

Kuroko prayed to his late husband. But this time, it wasn't a plea, or a whimper.

This time, Kuroko prayed his husband could see them laughing happily here.

...

Tinkle bell rang announcing his arrival at the sweet cafe. The soft tinkling had a raven haired male in a butler costume with a beauty mark under his right eye turning his head to the door.

"Ah, it's been awhile to see you coming here," said the waiter. "Please, take a seat. I'll get Atsushi for you."

Kuroko raised his hand to stop the waiter, but he was already half way across the cafe to the kitchen. So, Kuroko went to the corner of the cafe and settled down on the chair instead; his favorite spot. He set down his notebook and stationary on the table.

A purple haired giant traipsed towards him with a lazy stretching smile. "Kuro-chin~" his name was stretched out in his tone lazily.

"Murasakibara-kun," he nodded courteously.

"Been awhile to see you here," Murasakibara-kun began. "How's life? Mine-chin? Taiga-chin?"

"Living our life," he said. "How's yours? And Himuro-san?" Kuroko glanced over to see the raven haired male standing behind the cashier counter, talking to a customer.

"Nice, nice. But, Muro-chin keeps saying he wants to see Taiga-chin. He misses that kid," the chef pouted.

"Oh my, I hope Taiga-kun doesn't get in the way between you two."

"He will, if he doesn't quit being cute. I'll be watching Taiga-chin, Kuro-chin," regardless his warning, Kuroko couldn't feel the heat behind it. Murasakibara added; "Vanilla shake like usual?"

Kuroko smiled. "Like usual," then, he caught a redhead walking towards the cafe outside. "Ah, there he is," he watched Akashi Seijurou. His new editor looked so nice in his formal suit; as though the suit was designed for him.

"Someone is enchanted," Murasakibara pointed out rather loudly, a smirk pulling up his cheeks. "Make sure he gets approval from Mine-chin and Taiga-chin first."

The conversation his children had had this morning sprung into his mind. Kuroko fought down the blush.

"Still too early," he said to Murasakibara, returning to a blank look.

"Still too early," Murasakibara echoed, but the tone he used was slightly different.

Kuroko maintained his blank face. The chef smirked before left. Kuroko shifted his gaze to his new editor, who was marching up to him, welcoming the redhead with a tiny smile.

"Good afternoon," said Akashi Seijurou. "I've kept you waiting. I apologize for being late."

He shook his head. "I believe I'm the one who's late here," Kuroko tilted his head a little, playing with his pen.

Akashi Seijurou captured his meaning, offering him a small smile. "Better late than never."

A wider smile split Kuroko's face. He gestured his hand to welcome his new editor to sit down. Akashi Seijurou nodded, taking his offer courteously, and without any further hesitancy, they dived into realm of working.

Kuroko decided he liked this moment.

Also Kuroko decided he liked Akashi Seijurou when the redhead patiently helped him find his voice of writing again, and when those piercing heterochromatic eyes sent him some meaningful wordless praises and confession.

Hopefully, his children would approve him (cross fingers).

* * *

**A/N: **TBC in Part 2.


End file.
